Like vs. Need

Dear Celeste,

So tonight you mentioned an interesting quote, “Do you need me because you love me or do you love me because you need me”. Essentially the quote is trying to determine if the need is the product of the love, or the other way around the love the product of the need. I understand the point this quote is trying to make. Love driving the need should be the goal as opposed to the love only resulting from the need. However as I was thinking about this more and more I began to see this differently and would like to propose to you now my way of seeing this. I’ll start with the part that I see differently namely the second part of the quote. In my opinion I do not see this part as actually a negative aspect, but instead a natural one. Let me explain, so there are many aspects that take place that prompt a persons falling in love with someone as their feelings progress. They feel more connected to the person, they care more about the person, they enjoy their time together more deeply, as well as they begin to realize they need this person in their life. They realize their life is so much more with this person by their side. Their life is so much better with this person by their side. They realize that they not only want this person, but they need this person because this person makes them feel like no one else can. This realization is one of several things in my opinion that progresses the person’s feelings towards loving this person. Essentially the need is one of the factors that helps drive the person as they fall in love. Therefore as I stated previous I don’t see this as being an inherently bad thing, but a natural progression of feelings as they develop. The second point I would like to make is in regards to the first part of the quote. This part was the intended goal for need to be driven by love. Now here is how I see this and it probably is in line with the original viewpoint. The state of being in love causes you to need the person. The fact that you are in love is the reason you need them. The love being the driving force behind the need makes the need seem more meaningful. I think this is also a natural progression point for feelings. Now here is how I see the two put together. Instead of a linear progression moving from the lower to the higher way I see this more as a circular cycle that rotates and encompasses one another. Over the course of a relationship a couple will probably be reminded from time to time as to why it is that they love one another. There might be an instance where one spouse does something for the other to help them in some way. This causes the receiving spouse to realize how lucky they are and how much they need their spouse in their life. This realization of how much they need their spouse reminds them of just how much they love their spouse. On the flip side the giving spouse loves the other so much that they provide the help the other needs because they need their spouse and are willing to give them whatever it is they require. The love drives the need for them to be there and support their spouse. So my Celeste to wrap this up what do I need? I need your smile, I need your companionship, I need your comfort, I need your support, I need your laugh, I need YOU. As I spend more time with you I realize the more I need you because you make me feel like no one else can. As I spend more time with you I want to show you more and more how much you mean to me, and I can do that by helping you in any way that I can and by always being there by your side because my feelings for you drive that need to always support you. Never forget that you are everything to me and I mean that with the utmost sincerity and magnitude. I need my Celeste because who she is as a person, is absolutely amazing and I don’t want to spend my life by anyone else’s side other than hers. πŸ™‚

Your Malachite


One thought on “Like vs. Need

  1. Thank you Malachite for the sweet words! I appreciate them a lot.

    I may have seen the second part in a different way, but you are right and I accept the neutrality of it as you’ve suggested. No love is selfish. If the necessity has brought forth love, and if the ensuing love has become self-giving, then the love is just as rewarding as the need that stems out of love.

    Liked by 1 person

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